Small Talk

As we drove down our driveway today we saw a van parked by the side of the road. It was a woman from one of the farms in the area and they were moving their cattle up the road to a different paddock. We hadn't seen her for ages so we took the opportunity to have a bit of a catch up while we waited. We chatted about babies/kids, work, calving, moving houses etc. Just the usual small talk.

When we drove on our way, Shmoo was full of questions, asking who that person was and what were we talking about. I gave him a brief run-down on the conversation. There were a few seconds of silence as he processed it and then, perplexed, asked why. He couldn't work out why we would want to talk about the random minutiae of everyday life. I told him that when people haven't seen someone in a while they usually like to have a chat about what's been going on in their lives. All I got was a puzzled "Oh" before he went back to listening to his music.

I'm sure he would have understood if we'd been talking about something important, like vacuum cleaners. ;)

Swimming - Last Classes of the Term

  

  

Dealing with multiple daily meltdowns from more than one child. I'd almost forgotten what it was like.

So.Not.Fun.

~X( %-( :-t

I Never Thought That I Would...

This parenting thing is hard, isn't it? Before I actually had kids it was so easy to plan things out, how to be the perfect parent. It was so easy to think that I would never use the the TV as a babysitter - until I was pregnant, exhausted and nauseated with 2 young kids to look after and in desperate need of a couple of hours of peace and quiet. It was so easy to think that I would never be one of those mums who cook 2-3 different meals for dinner because the kids don't like XYZ... until we ended up with allergies, intolerances and sensory issues. I never thought that I would end up with kids who would be diagnosed with half the alphabet (I grew up with a lot of the people around me believing that kids who act out just need discipline). Now acronyms like ASD, PDD-NOS, AS, ADHD, and SPD are just a part of life.

I never thought that we would pull the car over and I would haul a misbehaving child out into the drizzle and tell him he was welcome to walk the rest of the way home if he wanted. And yet, that's what ended up happening today. We were heading out of town, on the 35-ish minute drive home, when the older 2 boys started throwing a tantrum because they wanted to go to Macca's. Our answer, as it most often is, was no. We can't afford it right now plus Macca's is only a sometimes thing, not every day, week or even month. Shmoo went beyond tantrum and into a full-blown meltdown, thrashing about, yelling, kicking etc. He had to be warned to leave his seatbelt on properly.

And then he started screaming at us, repeatedly telling us to shut up and that he thought things would be better if we went away. He was screaming at us to go away right now, telling us that he didn't want us near him. We pointed out that we couldn't actually go anywhere right there and then and that if he didn't want to be near us then he was going to have to be the one to go. He was not a happy 7yo.

And that's when we pulled over (very quiet country road) and I got him out of the car. I shut the rear car door and then went to get back into the passenger seat. It snapped him out of his meltdown. He quickly wrenched the door open again and scrambled back into the car. He was still rude, aggressive and argumentative but at least he wasn't in meltdown mode.

Exhausting. For all of us.

One-On-One - Shmoo Bear

It's hard with three. I seem to get so little on-on-one time with them. Whilst they can be lovely all together, they usually spend half the time bickering with each other or having some kind of issue that they need help dealing with. Shmoo's meltdowns and sensitivities; Loo's meltdowns and provocation of everyone, particularly his brothers; Beanie's sensitivities and typical toddlerness... on a good day it requires planning and some deep breathing. Throw in The OH's Asperger's and on a bad day things aren't pretty.

So I figured that it was about time that I start making some time to have regular one-on-one sessions with each of the boys, nothing fancy or expensive, just some enjoyable time with each other away from the other kids. Today it was Shmoo's turn and we took a drive over to a cosy little cafe in Penguin. It's been years since I've been there, not since Shmoo was an only child, but it was as lovely as ever.

As we went inside we passed a couple having lunch at the outside tables and Shmoo was fascinated with the large, black, curly-coated dog standing attentively by the table, intently watching the food. Shmoo whispered to me that he wondered what breed of dog it was and, after some reassurance and encouragement from me, he managed to work up the courage to ask. The dog, named Oliver, turned out to be a poodle much to Shmoo's amusement (of course the 7yo boy has to have a snicker at anything containing the word 'poo').

We had a hot chocolate each and shared some scones - a warming and delicious afternoon tea for a cold, windy day. Shmoo was thrilled. Going to a cafe is an extremely rare treat for us. I'd also brought along a pencil case full of supplies and an exercise book. Shmoo's perfectionism means that he often finds writing a tedious and frustrating process but, as I suspected, his excitement motivated him to persist at writing down the highlights of our trip out. We even calculated how much we would need to pay for our snack.

 

And, finally, we couldn't go past the park without stopping for a quick play. :)

Paed Appointment - Loo Bear

So we finally had Loo's first paed appointment today. We've had paed appointments there a number of times with Shmoo and, yet again, it was a new paed. We've never had the same paed twice!

It went okay. Quickly did an overview the issues - the behavioural stuff; his permanently blocked nose; possibility of an ASD; and possibility of him having a chromosomal translocation. After running through the behavioural stuff, the paed mentioned the possibility of ADHD (which is one of the things we have suspected for some time). The paed immediately mentioned Ritalin and I'm afraid my defences shot up straight away. I'm not a fan of medicating unnecessarily, especially with such a controversial drug, and he doesn't even have a diagnosis yet. The paed said they generally prescribe a trial of Ritalin when the ADHD is affecting learning. He then mentioned that they only gave him half hour slots to see patients so I guess that's why he was trying to cram in as much info as possible. He gave us a Conners' Parent Rating Scale to fill out and bring back to the next appointment. I filled it out tonight and scored it on a separate piece of paper. Loo scores highly in all subsets, between 70 and 82.

Loo's not having any marked learning difficulties at the moment, although I have no doubt that in a mainstream school setting he would struggle. He just does not do well at sitting down quietly and focussing on a set topic. Of course, we couldn't go past the 'learning' issue without the paed getting that look and saying "Yes, well the only problem with homeschooling is that they don't get to interact with their peers...". The OH and I then began to reel off all the things Loo does: play dates, swimming classes, ECIS sessions, performing arts classes, homeschooling group... "Oh. I guess I'd better take that back then. Obviously it's something you've already thought about" says the paed. Yes, obviously. /:) 8-| I mean, honestly, do people really think that homeschoolers are all airy-fairy, let's not send our kids to school tra-la-la-la-la...?! We do actually think about the various aspects of our children's education!

Moving on. The paed diagnosed Loo with hayfever. No wonder he always seems to have a blocked nose. His nasal passages are so inflamed and swollen that the sides are pushed right up against each other leaving only a tiny space for him to breathe through. Going to trial a couple of things to see if we can make breathing a bit easier for him.

The paed also gave us a pathology form for a blood test to check if Loo's inherited the translocation. Loo will be pleased. He's been so envious of Shmoo getting to have 2 blood tests (and getting 2 little teddy bears!) LOL. Must remember to add GP's name to the 'additional copies to' section of the form so that I can find out the results sooner ;)

Next appointment in 3 months. Again, I feel relieved that we're finally doing something. It's been so frustrating feeling that something's not quite right and being told not to worry, he's normal, or kids like that just need discipline. It's not about the diagnosis, about having another acronym tagged onto our child. It's about finding the best strategies to help him; it's about knowing whether or not we're on the right track to helping him grow and fulfill his potential.

Peach Soy Yoghurt

I made 2L of soy yoghurt for the kids yesterday and figured I'd do something different to the usual vanilla flavoured. Today I pureed a tin each of peach and mango slices. I dolloped spoonfuls of the peach puree in between layers of the yoghurt (pictured above in individually portioned containers). With the other half of the yoghurt, I swirled through the mango puree and poured them into ice block moulds. Both versions were a huge hit with the boys.

ASD Gift-Giving

This is so funny. I'm bursting to tell The OH but I promised Shmoo I wouldn't so I'm going to have to put it down here.

Shmoo realised the other day that it's The OH's birthday at the end of the month. Shmoo's old enough now to understand the gift-giving and celebration aspects of birthdays and knows that presents don't have to be fancy or expensive, just something special given with love and thought.

At the end of the day Shmoo excitedly came up to me and started whispering conspiratorially. He'd obviously spent a lot of time trying to think of something very special that he could give The OH for a birthday present. He'd chosen one of his treasured vacuum catalogues and hidden it away, ready to give to The OH on his birthday. Shmoo was so pleased that he'd managed to think of the perfect gift!

I didn't burst his bubble of course, and I told him that I was sure Daddy would absolutely love a vacuum catalogue LOL. It's the thought that counts after all! It's just funny that no matter how many times we gently tell him that everyone is unique and has different interests, he just doesn't get it. He's certain that everyone must be as intensely and passionately interested in vacuum cleaners as he is. =))

First Snow

The last few days have been very wet and windy here but not too cold. However, last night before we went to be I commented to the OH that it seemed colder than usual, there was a real chill in the air. We woke in the morning to find that we'd had our first snowfall of the winter. It wasn't much, barely enough to settle on the ground, but it was enough to get us all excited.

We went outside briefly, just long enough for the kids to try and catch some falling snow on their tongue and to have our first ever snowball fight. The boys were fascinated but it didn't take long for them to start feeling the cold and asking to go back inside. Poor Shmoo was cold and wet and it was a bit of a sensory overload for him. Once inside he warmed up with a meltdown. But later on, after a big breakfast and some warm cocoa, he couldn't stop talking about the snow and said he really liked playing in it.

   

Swimming Progress

 

Am so proud of my boys and the progress they have made in their swimming lessons, Shmoo in particular.

Shmoo's been in the pool since 10 months old and it's been a long, slow road to water confidence for him. We've been lucky enough to have had the same great instructor, Kerry, for the past 5 years and she's allowed him to go at his own pace but giving him the right amount of push when she knows that he has the skills. It wasn't so long ago that Shmoo would cling to Kerry in the pool, terrified to even glide a short distance to or from the steps or to put his head under the water. And now... now he can actually swim short distances without a board or flippers. He still gets very nervous when trying new things but with lots of gentle encouragement he eventually gets there.

And Loo... well, he's slowly progressing too. He really struggles to pay attention and thinks it's funny to ignore instructions but that's just Loo Bear all over. :-$ I still think he looks like a whale trying to synchronise swim :P but he is getting better.