Our bags are packed.
I've packed the things I wish I'd taken the first time - more clothes for both of us; a notebook and pen; massage oil; thongs; Baby Bear's swaddle bags; snacks; nail clippers; printed and laminated pictures of the boys and The OH, and drawings the boys have done.
I've packed things that others have recommended - lip balm for Baby Bear post-op; Baby Bear's favourite toys; and arnica from our midwife.
I've done a heap of bulk cooking and stocked the freezer with meals; the pantry is stocked with easy side dishes and snacks for The OH to make for the boys. All our swing-top bottles are filled with water kefir and the grains are hibernating in the fridge, hopefully okay for the next 2-3 weeks.
I have a list of the last minute things I need to do and pack. I've re-read the RCH cardiac surgery manual. I have a list of questions I want to ask at pre-admission. We're on the list for accommodation at Ronald McDonald House.
But I'm not ready. I don't think there's anything I could do to feel ready to hand my baby over to have open heart surgery.
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"Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid."