End of Year Events

We've had the ECIS Christmas BBQ. The kids had lots of fun. Loo got his face painted (a fire-breathing dragon); and Shmoo and Beanie even joined him on the jumping castle (although Shmoo did wear his ear muffs).

 All 3 boys performed with their performing arts classes in a Christmas concert at an aged care home. So, so proud of them all. Shmoo was quite nervous but did beautifully once up there. I didn't think Beanie would even get up there but Loo held his hand and, unprompted, helped him with his props and actions... what an awesome big brother!

Here Comes Santa Claus...

Our swimming lessons finished up for the year last week and so this was the first free Saturday that we've had in a while. Our local Harvey Norman store does free Santa photos every Saturday in the lead up to Christmas and for the last few years they've had an wonderful, friendly, authentic-looking Santa so we always go there for the kids' photos.

We decided to stop by and get a photo done before we did our grocery shopping this morning. We were in the car, still about 10 minutes away, when Shmoo let out an exclamation of delight - he'd spotted a helicopter flying over. We got to the intersection outside the shopping complex and I could tell it was really busy for some reason. Santa photos are popular but it was never usually this packed... cars going in and out and people everywhere! We turned into the carpark and noticed a local radio station set up and signs announcing Santa's arrival by helicopter. Uh oh. We hadn't been expecting that. We'd missed Santa's big arrival by about 5 minutes but there were heaps of families sticking around for the sausage sizzle, face painting, balloons and Santa photos.

Surprisingly we managed to snag a park pretty quickly so we walked up to at least check out how busy it was. Shmoo walked up the steps behind the big speakers, looking a bit stunned, his hands over his ears. The line for Santa photos went right down to the back of the store. We stood in line for a couple of minutes, discussing whether we should just come back next week, however I'd already promised Shmoo the day before that he could look at vacuums and get some new catalogues and he'd been more excited about that than the prospect of seeing Santa (after all, there's no way that even Santa can magically squeeze a Dyson into a Christmas stocking!). The OH and Beanie waited in line while I took Shmoo and Loo to the vacuums.

By the time we'd thoroughly checked out the vacuum display, The OH and Beanie had moved a fair way up the line so we decided to stick it out. I got my mobile out and the boys took turns at playing games on it. Thank goodness for smartphones (the HTC One XL is all kinds of awesome by the way. Have had it for a couple of months now... a huge upgrade from my old <$100 Telstra smartphone. Love the android os).

And then it was our turn for a photo with Santa. I'd convinced myself that this year The OH and I wouldn't need to be in the photo, that the kids were old enough to not get freaked out my the big guy in red. Unfortunately Beanie had other ideas and while he was happy to say a shy hello and high five Santa, there was no way he was going to have a bar of sitting next to Santa for a photo, even with his big brothers there. Another family photo!

So that was our long, busy morning but the kids were happy that they got to see both Santa and vacuum cleaners. And we overheard that Santa likes a snack of milk and Tim Tams... just in case you were wondering what kind of nibblies to leave out for him this year ;)

First Cinema Visit

 

*blush* Yes, that's my ^bump^ protruding into the pic... well I am 27 weeks pregnant! 

The last time The OH and I went to the movies was over 7 years ago, when Shmoo was still a tiny, portable, easy-going newborn. Then he grew into a toddler and we had another baby, and then another baby. Movie-going with 3 very young children... not exactly the most appealing of activities.

But the kids are older now and for some time we've been thinking that we should take them to the cinema so they can see their first big-screen movie. Preferably before the arrival of the next baby! So, this evening, we took the boys to see Madagascar 3. We have 1 and 2 on DVD which they all love so we were pretty confident that they'd like 3 as well. We deliberately chose a mid-week screening too, in the hope that it would be a quiet session and I also packed 3 sets of earmuffs and the CuddleLoop, just in case. I was tempted to take along the weighted blanket too but we only have a small one and I figured they probably would have ended up fighting over it.

It went really well. We bought a large bucket of popcorn for them to share and the woman who served us had the brilliant idea of giving us 3 smaller, empty cups so that we could give the kids their own little serves. We were also able to go into the cinema straight away, about 20 minutes before the movie was scheduled to start, which was great. We were first in so I was able to carefully select the row of seats and get the kids settled and comfortable. Turns out that mid-week is a great time to go as there was only one other small group of people in the cinema with us.

Madagascar 3 was a great movie to see on the big screen, even The OH and I enjoyed it. The only thing in it that I was really concerned about was the scene with the mounted animal heads on the animal control inspector's wall, I was worried it might me a bit alarming for the kids but it seemed to go over their heads (forgive the pun!). Shmoo and Loo sat amazingly still and just got really into the movie. Shmoo did wear his earmuffs for 3/4 of the movie though. Glad I brought them! Beanie did really well too, considering he's not yet 3 years old. He couldn't get over the fact that they'd turned off the lights and kept gazing up at the ceiling in awe and commenting on it.

Overall, a big success. We even let the boys have a go on one of those car-racing games after the movie. The boys will be talking about the whole experience non-stop now (and nagging us to go again... maybe we should make them pay for their own tickets?!?). Interesting to note also that my pregnancy hormones have well and truly kicked in... honestly, what mama gets all teary and emotional over her kids' first big-screen movie? :"> 8-|

ECIS

My little Bean is doing so well. I can't believe how far he's come. The teachers and TAs at ECIS can see the difference too. He's been attending ECIS for about a year now and the change over that time, particularly in the last couple of months, has been amazing. They've seen him go from clinging to me, not talking, sooo many sensory issues and minimal facial expressions to this incredibly bubbly, chatty, cheeky, expressive toddler.

I am so grateful that he's had access to early intervention. It's something that I'll always regret Shmoo not being able to access. We only had one child health nurse raise any kind of concern regarding Shmoo and by that time I'd had a multitude of health care professionals repeatedly tell me (yet another one of those paranoid, first-time mothers that I obviously was 8-| ) that he was just very shy/quirky/must be normal because he was meeting developmental milestones okay. The early intervention and the (occasionally questionable) benefits of having an extroverted older brother to mimic in social situations has made such a difference to Beanie :)

Sensory Overload

Shmoo is more of a sensory avoider. Loo tends to be a sensory seeker. It occasionally leads to some rather interesting situations.

Like the other day... They had a bit of a disagreement about something and were both upset. I was putting clothes away in the bedroom and The OH was downstairs so neither of us were immediately available. Loo often needs lots of deep sensory input and always wants big, squishy, squashy cuddles when he's upset. For a sensory avoider like Shmoo this isn't his preferred method of comfort. When I came out of the bedroom, there were the two boys, both in tears, with Loo chasing Shmoo around, trying to get a cuddle. Oh dear.

And yesterday we were getting ready to go out. I was having breakfast while Shmoo got dressed and I could hear Beanie running around making some nonsensical babbling toddler noise. Then came the sounds of Shmoo becoming increasingly distressed. We know those noises pretty well so we asked what was wrong and The OH went to investigate. Shmoo yelled out that Beanie was annoying him and he couldn't get dressed. We assumed that Beanie was getting in the way or running off with Shmoo's things but no, it was just the noise that Bean was making apparently.

Now, I'd better go open this parcel that was just delivered. I suspect it is the sensory stuff that I ordered recently... including the extra pairs of noise-reducing ear muffs.

How to Confuse the Mainstreamers

The short version... Have 3 boys. Don't impose the usual gender stereotypes.

The long version...

Boy1 - A sensitive, quiet, high-functioning ASD child who enjoys karate classes but intensely dislikes having his hair cut and therefore currently has hair that hangs down past his shoulders.

Boy2 - A very loud, active, boisterous, short-haired child who loves dinosaurs and fighting. Often seen wearing his favourite colour... pink.

Boy3 - Never been interested in having his hair cut so his fine, dark hair hangs halfway down his back ending in little curls. Often gets people commenting on "her his pretty features".

All 3 boys adore nail polish and constantly nag me to do their nails. They own more nail polish than I do (although that's not at all hard as I'm totally not into the whole nail polish, make-up, frilly flowery girly pink thing).

Keeping Boy1's hair under control has been a battle for a while. It's now long enough to tie back but there are shorter bits around the front that still get in his eyes (particularly annoying for him at swimming and karate). His hair is also quite thick and tends to get horribly knotty. It can take me the better part of an hour and lots of leave-in conditioner to very slowly and gently work those huge knots out (our sensitive ASD child does not tolerate any kind of pain well!).

This afternoon I finally implemented our latest plan to keep his hair in check: putting his hair into lots of small plaits (he has been very enthusiastic about this idea). I figure that hopefully we can keep them in for the whole week, take them out to wash his hair after his swimming class, and then redo the plaits the day after.

I had to smile at dinner as I watched the kids... Boy1 in a dark blue shirt with his new hair-do, sitting next to short-haired Boy2 who was wearing a hot pink skivvy. People often get horribly embarrassed when they realise they've mistaken one of our boys for a girl. We generally don't correct them when they say 'she' instead of 'he' although the kids will speak up for themselves if they notice. It doesn't bother or offend us (can be amusing though when even our GP of 9 years refers to Boy3 as 'she').

My boys are who they are and they will be whoever they are meant to be. We hope that they know we will always be there to support them as they grow and explore. They are wonderful and gorgeous and we love them absolutely and unconditionally. Looking forward to Boy4 (although I still reckon I need a t-shirt that says something like 'Yes, it's another boy. No, we weren't hoping for a girl', just to avoid some of the looks of horror and silly comments when people realise we have 4 boys!). Not sure why people seem to think I need to have a girl in order to do the nails, hair, dolls and pink clothing thing or to feel fulfilled as a woman/mother. :))

Dealing with multiple daily meltdowns from more than one child. I'd almost forgotten what it was like.

So.Not.Fun.

~X( %-( :-t

One-On-One - Shmoo Bear

It's hard with three. I seem to get so little on-on-one time with them. Whilst they can be lovely all together, they usually spend half the time bickering with each other or having some kind of issue that they need help dealing with. Shmoo's meltdowns and sensitivities; Loo's meltdowns and provocation of everyone, particularly his brothers; Beanie's sensitivities and typical toddlerness... on a good day it requires planning and some deep breathing. Throw in The OH's Asperger's and on a bad day things aren't pretty.

So I figured that it was about time that I start making some time to have regular one-on-one sessions with each of the boys, nothing fancy or expensive, just some enjoyable time with each other away from the other kids. Today it was Shmoo's turn and we took a drive over to a cosy little cafe in Penguin. It's been years since I've been there, not since Shmoo was an only child, but it was as lovely as ever.

As we went inside we passed a couple having lunch at the outside tables and Shmoo was fascinated with the large, black, curly-coated dog standing attentively by the table, intently watching the food. Shmoo whispered to me that he wondered what breed of dog it was and, after some reassurance and encouragement from me, he managed to work up the courage to ask. The dog, named Oliver, turned out to be a poodle much to Shmoo's amusement (of course the 7yo boy has to have a snicker at anything containing the word 'poo').

We had a hot chocolate each and shared some scones - a warming and delicious afternoon tea for a cold, windy day. Shmoo was thrilled. Going to a cafe is an extremely rare treat for us. I'd also brought along a pencil case full of supplies and an exercise book. Shmoo's perfectionism means that he often finds writing a tedious and frustrating process but, as I suspected, his excitement motivated him to persist at writing down the highlights of our trip out. We even calculated how much we would need to pay for our snack.

 

And, finally, we couldn't go past the park without stopping for a quick play. :)

First Snow

The last few days have been very wet and windy here but not too cold. However, last night before we went to be I commented to the OH that it seemed colder than usual, there was a real chill in the air. We woke in the morning to find that we'd had our first snowfall of the winter. It wasn't much, barely enough to settle on the ground, but it was enough to get us all excited.

We went outside briefly, just long enough for the kids to try and catch some falling snow on their tongue and to have our first ever snowball fight. The boys were fascinated but it didn't take long for them to start feeling the cold and asking to go back inside. Poor Shmoo was cold and wet and it was a bit of a sensory overload for him. Once inside he warmed up with a meltdown. But later on, after a big breakfast and some warm cocoa, he couldn't stop talking about the snow and said he really liked playing in it.

   

Shmoo's Chewies

We've finally found something that he likes and that seems to keep him from chewing on other stuff! I ordered a few different ones for Shmoo to try. The ARK Grabber XT and the ARK Textured Grabber XT were immediate winners. He didn't find the Super Chewnoodle so 'chewable' so we've kept that aside as a backup.

The (Almost) Perfect Water Bottle

I'm sure most parents have been through the same thing. The search for the perfect water bottle or sippy cup for the kids is incredibly frustrating, not to mention expensive! It has to fulfill all the criteria: leak-proof, durable, a good size, easy to clean and put together, contains no nasty chemicals, easy for the kids to drink from, and looks funky enough for the kids to want to use.

It's taken me over 6 years but I've finally found something that fits the bill. I love the Ecococoon stainless steel, insulated bottles. The only thing that I think could be improved is the lid - there's nothing to keep it attached to the bottle.It needs a loop/handle on it so that it can be attached to the carabiner.

The CamelBak kids' bottles suit Loo and Beanie really well. Unfortunately they were a complete failure for Shmoo. Shmoo is an oral sensory seeker, everything goes in his mouth and gets chewed. He could chew a silicone CamelBak bite valve to bits in just a few hours. The Ecococoon cap, however, is fairly sturdy and quite hard. It's held up much better than the Camelbak. But... as you can see from the photo below, Shmoo has given it a good gnawing. I think it would need to be coated in titanium to stop Shmoo biting bits out of it! I don't know why I was so surprised to see how much he'd nibbled off it, this was the kid who gnawed big timber splinters off the end of his cot when he was a toddler. I'm going to get a few different 'chewies' (chew toys for ASD kids) to attach to his bottle and hopefully we'll be able to get him to chew those instead.

Back to School

And so it gets busy again. Now that the mainstream school year has started, we're back to squeezing in swimming lessons, performing arts classes and community playgroup around our various regular appointments and playdates. On top of that, it won't be long before Early Intervention starts up again for Beanie and Loo (it'll be Loo's first time attending).

The boys' performing arts teacher is very keen for them to participate in the Eisteddfod this year (reciting a poem in costume). It will be a great opportunity for Shmoo and Loo, but... my stomach churns at the thought of the inevitable meltdowns that we'll get from Shmoo. I know it's important for us to keep nudging him, encouraging him to at least have a go at these things. It doesn't help that I can empathise a little too well - being an extremely introverted child and having to do the Eisteddfod every year was terrifying!

Noise Reduction Headphones

Bought these a couple of months ago for Shmoo. Wish we'd known about them (and fidget toys) 6 years ago!!

We also have a Kid Companions Chewlery Heart on the way (Shmoo chose pink). Am desperately hoping it arrives soon so that the bite valve on Shmoo's water bottle doesn't get any more munched up.

Wet Day at the Library

We had our regular library playdate today with the lovely Allana and her daughter. A perfect place to spend a cold, rainy morning. When we got there we noticed that the kids' play area had been rearranged. A little later we realised why - a rather large corner of the library was flooded, absolutely waterlogged, and the furniture had been rearranged to block off access to the wet area. It turns out that a pipe in one of the pillars had rusted through and had flooded sections on 2 floors of the library. 

So, we had to make do without any books from the junior nonfiction section. As the kids ran around playing and browsing through the books, I selected some books for the boys to read over the next couple of weeks. As anyone with a toddler knows, you can't turn your back on them for a second. I heard one of the library workers telling a child to come out of the wet area as their socks were getting wet. I knew it would be the Bean LOL. I looked up and there was Beanie, having a ball racing the toy stroller along the puddly carpet, cold water soaking his tights and up to the  knees of his pants. He was very unimpressed that I had to take him away from his water play! Luckily he was wearing a few layers so I was able to take off his wet things and leave him in his BabyLegs.

As we were getting ready to leave the carpet cleaners turned up so we decided to stay a little longer to watch. Vacuum obsessed Shmoo was, of course, fascinated. He was a bit cautious to start with and stood a safe distance away but curiosity quickly got the better of him and he soon sat down with the other kids to get a closer look. He didn't even startle at the noise!

   

The kids had a great time watching the water get sucked up; seeing the hose move as the water went through; and looking through the clear dome as the dirty water gushed out of the pipe and into the tank. It seemed to fill up very quickly. By the time we left, they'd only been sucking up the water for about 15-20 minutes with quite a bit more to do, and they'd already emptied the tank 4 times.

Just before we left Shmoo worked up the courage and asked the man how much water could fit into the machine. The answer: about 30L. 4 lots of 30 = 120L... that's a lot of water!

EI Group

Yep, Shmoo has his fingers in his ears - they turned the siren on 

While The OH took Shmoo and Loo to a homeschool group police station visit, Beanie and I went to our first early intervention group session this morning.

Bean did much better than I expected. He was very clingy, refused to look at most of the staff and cried a little but he warmed up fairly quickly. Sitting in my lap he could be persuaded to cautiously touch a few toys, look at some books, and play with playdough. Then he was introduced to the big tray filled with multicoloured grains of rice with toy cars and trucks. After a few minutes he was happy to play at the tray with T (I think each of the staff have a one-on-one thing with each child), while I sat about a metre away. Bean was a bit freaked out by the other little ones there, only another 4 or so I think but they were loud, one cried a lot, and others pushed in a lot and snatched toys away from him.

One thing that really bothered me though was that nearly all of the comments directed at Beanie were along the lines of 'good/clever boy!', said in a really saccharine sweet voice. Not just on the odd occasion but after every single thing that he did. I really don't like constant, automatic praising of kids. It's so patronising. It's not something you notice until it's pointed out but so many people do it. Over the last few years I've made a concerted effort to cut way back on saying 'good boy' or 'good job'. Instead, I try to focus on being encouraging by asking questions about what they've done, how they feel about it etc. The occasional 'good boy' does slip through but I'm aware of it. The OH struggles with it as it is such an automatic response. Now my automatic response to 'good boy' is 'woof!'. It acts as a bit of a reminder that they don't need to receive all that empty, fake-sounding praise - they're not dogs.

Ohhh and another thing that annoyed me... what the heck is the deal with saying 'Ta for X' when you want a child to give you something?!? Poor Bean had no idea what she was on about and then saw she was holding out her hand and made the connection that she wanted him to hand the toy/car etc to her. What's wrong with saying 'may I have that please?'. I'm not really a fan of 'Ta' for thank you either but accept that some other people think it's easier for little kids to say. We've never taught any of our boys 'Ta', it's always been 'thank you' which they learned to say fine (Bean's been saying it for ages now) and before they could say it they would just use the Auslan sign for thank you. No big deal really I guess, it's just one of those little things that I find mildly annoying LOL.

ECIS Update

We had the visit with SJ from the Early Childhood Intervention Service a couple of days ago. It was just the initial contact so she could meet the Bean and discuss where we go from here.


No surprises in the way Beanie reacted to her. He buried his face into my chest and refused to look at her.


SJ is going to talk to the other people she works with and come up with a plan for us.


Funny coincidence: one of the people that SJ works with is F... who organises the homeschool group meets.

Homeschool Group Fire Station Visit

I wanted to get some better pics of the boys but it was really hard to get far enough away from Shmoo. He was very curious about the fire station but was a bit freaked at the new environment and loud, sudden noises. He clung to my side for a good deal of the visit. But both he and Loo enjoyed the visit.


Beanie spent the visit on my back in the Ergo, desperately trying to avoid making eye contact with anyone. Kinda hard when standing in the middle of the big group with people all around so, for the most part, he buried his face into my back.

Afternoon in the Park

Don't worry, be happy! The OH's cuppa the other night.

Shmoo's always loved doing things like somersaults and trying to juggle so when I heard that Slipstream Circus were running some holiday classes for 5-9 year olds I signed him up for a couple. The OH and I thought that he'd love it and that it would be a great homeschooling 'extracurricular activity'. (Have I mentioned before that Shmoo and Loo are now doing a performing arts class through TPAC every Friday during term, and loving it?)

Shmoo's first class was this afternoon so I took Loo and Beanie to the park in Penguin whilst The OH took Shmoo to Slipstream.

The OH and I should have known better. Shmoo has only been, well, Shmoo for the past 6 years. We've known for a long time that he is a Highly Sensitive Child. It takes him a looooong time to get used to new environments, situations and people... he gets overwhelmed very easily. Apparently when The OH and Shmoo got to Slipstream they discovered it was held in one very large room (recreation centre I think), it was very cold and had lots of very loud children running around everywhere. Poor Shmoo. It was everything he can't handle rolled into one, sensory overload. He freaked. He was terrified and wouldn't join in. Oh well. Lesson learned.

So The OH and Shmoo met up with us at the park. Shmoo had much more fun playing with his brothers in the parkWe asked him if he wanted to go back to the Slipstream class on Thursday and got a definite 'no!'.

After playing in the park we walked up to the GP's surgery to pick up a prescription and then stopped by the bakery on the way back to the car and got the boys a little treat to eat on the way home. A lovely family afternoon.