How to Confuse the Mainstreamers

The short version... Have 3 boys. Don't impose the usual gender stereotypes.

The long version...

Boy1 - A sensitive, quiet, high-functioning ASD child who enjoys karate classes but intensely dislikes having his hair cut and therefore currently has hair that hangs down past his shoulders.

Boy2 - A very loud, active, boisterous, short-haired child who loves dinosaurs and fighting. Often seen wearing his favourite colour... pink.

Boy3 - Never been interested in having his hair cut so his fine, dark hair hangs halfway down his back ending in little curls. Often gets people commenting on "her his pretty features".

All 3 boys adore nail polish and constantly nag me to do their nails. They own more nail polish than I do (although that's not at all hard as I'm totally not into the whole nail polish, make-up, frilly flowery girly pink thing).

Keeping Boy1's hair under control has been a battle for a while. It's now long enough to tie back but there are shorter bits around the front that still get in his eyes (particularly annoying for him at swimming and karate). His hair is also quite thick and tends to get horribly knotty. It can take me the better part of an hour and lots of leave-in conditioner to very slowly and gently work those huge knots out (our sensitive ASD child does not tolerate any kind of pain well!).

This afternoon I finally implemented our latest plan to keep his hair in check: putting his hair into lots of small plaits (he has been very enthusiastic about this idea). I figure that hopefully we can keep them in for the whole week, take them out to wash his hair after his swimming class, and then redo the plaits the day after.

I had to smile at dinner as I watched the kids... Boy1 in a dark blue shirt with his new hair-do, sitting next to short-haired Boy2 who was wearing a hot pink skivvy. People often get horribly embarrassed when they realise they've mistaken one of our boys for a girl. We generally don't correct them when they say 'she' instead of 'he' although the kids will speak up for themselves if they notice. It doesn't bother or offend us (can be amusing though when even our GP of 9 years refers to Boy3 as 'she').

My boys are who they are and they will be whoever they are meant to be. We hope that they know we will always be there to support them as they grow and explore. They are wonderful and gorgeous and we love them absolutely and unconditionally. Looking forward to Boy4 (although I still reckon I need a t-shirt that says something like 'Yes, it's another boy. No, we weren't hoping for a girl', just to avoid some of the looks of horror and silly comments when people realise we have 4 boys!). Not sure why people seem to think I need to have a girl in order to do the nails, hair, dolls and pink clothing thing or to feel fulfilled as a woman/mother. :))