Update

   

Finding beauty everywhere

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Loo Bear has been enjoying the puzzles in the CSIRO's Double Helix magazines.

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Shmoo has been perfecting his gluten free raspberry and lemon friands*. He has now made them several times, including a batch for our homeschool monitor. We had our review (and Loo's initial monitoring visit) in August and it went very well.

*We made the friands with Nuttelex a couple of times so that they were dairy-free and whilst they were okay, they're definitely much better with real butter.

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I'd given up on our cauliflowers and hadn't checked on them too closely for a while. While collecting herbs one morning I glanced over and noticed a huge head of cauliflower. We've had 3 more since and we're also still getting lots of yummy silverbeet, parsley, kale and beetroot.  Shmoo has taken to helping me weed the beds and keep an eye on the developing cabbage heads.

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The last few months I've been getting back into making our own yoghurt and have even branched out into making labneh. So easy and yummy.

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We had fun making some bird feeders recently. The OH poked a hole in the bottom of 5 plastic cups. We then used a length of kitchen string to tie 2 craft sticks in an 'X' shape and threaded the other end through the hole inside the cup and securing to the outside with sticky tape. Repeated for all 5 cups. We mixed 1kg wild bird seed mix with 250g softened lard. The boys packed the seed mixture into the cups; removed the tape; and pulled the string tight so that the craft sticks rested snugly against the top of the cups. We froze the cups for a few minutes until they had set and then removed the seed mix from the cups and hung them up outside.

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Baby Bear had a cardiology review a while ago. At 18 months old he was not impressed with being stripped down in front of strangers in a strange environment, attached to strange machines, and poked with strange equipment. He put up with being weighed (9.29kg with a nappy on - below the 3rd centile line still) and then cracked it. He was very vocal about his displeasure. I breastfed him through the ECG and that somewhat distracted him but by the time we got to the echo he was totally over it. He wouldn't feed anymore and refused to be distracted by the apps on my mobile. They couldn't really get a good view of his heart because of his screaming and squirming around but it looked like there probably wasn't anything 'significant'. The cardiologist was happy enough to schedule the next review for 2 years time, when Baby Bear should be old enough to be a bit more cooperative and allow us a better look at his heart.

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It's been a tough winter with us seeming to catch a cold or flu every 2-4 weeks for the past 3 months. The last cold has left Baby Bear with a mild chest infection and a horrible case of oral thrush. His mouth is causing him a lot of pain and I haven't been able to brush his teeth because he screams and his mouth and gums bleed so much. Our GP has just put Baby Bear on antibiotics 3 times a day for the chest infection and to make sure nothing nasty has gotten to his heart through his mouth. He's also on nilstat 4 times a day for the thrush. Poor baby. He's terrible at taking meds and I'm also giving him probiotics, kefir grains, xylitol and coconut oil so it feels like I'm trying to coax him into opening his mouth all day. Fingers crossed that it all clears up very quickly! 

Refinding Our Rhythm

My elderly father hadn't been well for quite a while. My parents had been planning on flying us up to spend some time with them in July, however in early January my dad's health took a turn for the worse.

Toward the end of January we got the call we'd been half expecting and with less than a week of last minute planning, booking and packing, we flew north for a 2 week stay.

We got to spend 10 days with my dad before he finally passed away; it was lovely to see his joy in seeing all his grandkids again. Since it was so close to our departure date and the funeral had to wait for international relatives, we decided to extend our stay by a week. REX were great and waived the flight change fees when we faxed our travel agent the death certificate but Virgin wouldn't budge and we had to fork out nearly $1500.

Our stay in far north Queensland was hot, humid, wet and exhausting. The mosquitoes just about ate Beanie alive when he spent 10 minutes outside. There were cyclone threats. Due to my dad's ill health and death and the hot, wet weather, we didn't venture far from my parents' home. The boys got bored, watched far too much TV and ate far too much junk food. We stayed indoors and enjoyed the air conditioning. The boys enjoyed a nearby child-friendly shopping centre.

While we were away from home Beanie celebrated his 4th birthday and both toilet trained and finished breastfeeding. Big moments! Baby Bear celebrated his 1st birthday and started really cruising, even taking 3 unassisted steps! 

It was lovely to catch up with some old friends and family again (and to have some yummy nem chua again for the first time in over a decade) but we are so glad to be home. In the last couple of days of our stay, Shmoo and Beanie came down with a nasty cold and Loo had an allergic reaction so our journey home wasn't particularly pleasant and the rest of us have since caught the cold too.

We are still unpacking (having gone up with 2 half full suitcases and returned with 3 overloaded ones), recovering, and trying to settle down into some kind of rhythm again.

   

Weaning

My baby has almost completed the weaning process.

No, not this baby. He's still breastfeeding 'round the clock (and, at only 10 months old, I imagine he'll be boobing for a long time yet).

It's my almost 4 year old who is just about finished with the boobies.

Yes, I've still been tandem feeding both Baby Bear and Beanie. Beanie increased his feeds for a little while after Baby Bear was born but then we eased back down to 1 a day (the bedtime feed). I thought he might forget how to latch on correctly when Baby and I were in Melbourne for so long but he had no such problem.

In the last couple of weeks Beanie has been keeping his bedtime feed very short and often lets go as soon as my milk lets down. I think it's just the comfort of the familiar routine now. We've discussed it and he's happy to finish breastfeeding soon, by the time he's 4 we've agreed. From now on we're going to see how he goes with just some extra cuddle time to replace the bedtime boobies.

Heart Baby - Things I've Learned

Things I've learned from our surgery and hospital experiences with a young heart baby...

- It doesn't help to blame yourself.

- Be realistic. Neither pessimism or blind optimism helps.

- Read up, ask questions, be informed. But don't go overboard and don't diagnose with Dr. Google.

- Look up some photos of post-op heart babies in ICU. It's best to be prepared because it can be hugely overwhelming to walk into ICU and see your tiny bubba lying there so still, on a ventilator with lines and drains and wires all over them.

- Familiarise yourself with the medical jargon.

- Find out what support is available (eg. the Patient Transport Assistance Scheme). Usually the hospital will be able to give you info on what assistance is available to you.

- Get a display folder to keep paperwork in.

- Have a notebook that you can jot down questions and information. It's so easy to forget things!

- If at all possible, don't do it alone. It gets very overwhelming, especially if you have to travel away from home to an unfamiliar city. It would have been so much better if I'd had someone with me for all the appointments and hospital stays.

- It is possible to breastfeed a heart baby (maybe fully, maybe with EBM, maybe with a calorie supplement, maybe with formula supplements... depending on baby's condition). Get in contact with the Australian Breastfeeding Association or others who have been in similar circumstances.

- You may come across the odd doctor or paediatrician who's very anti-breastfeeding. Try not to let them get to you and find another doctor if possible. Listen to the doctors who are supportive. (I had lots of health professionals who were supportive. Once I knew B was okay I cancelled our appointments with the paed-who-thought-he-was-God).

- See a lactation consultant to make sure baby's feeding optimally.

- Poly-Joule mixes easier with fresh, warm expressed breastmilk. Then sit it in the fridge for at least an hour or so before use.

- Use your smartphone to set alarms for meds or buy a specific medicine alarm (some of them are really cheap).

- If you live outside the metropolitan area, check with your local pharmacy to see how long it will take to get baby's regular meds and supplements in.

- If you know something's not right or it seems like the docs have the wrong info, keep telling someone until you're listened to.

- Print out a map of the hospital if you're not already familiar with the place. Find out where the waiting areas, parenting rooms, and cafes are. Look into nearby accommodation (if you don't live nearby) as well as which shops, parks and transport are close by.

- Think about if you'll be staying in hospital with baby or elsewhere. Where will you stay while baby's post-op in ICU? (I could only room-in with B once he was transferred to the cardiac ward about 24 hours post-op. Many babes stay in ICU longer than that.)

- Find out what the hospital provides... nappies, dummies, meals, formula?

- Pack enough clothing so that you've still got clean stuff even when baby's puked all over you several times during the day and spat meds out, dripped blood from tests etc. Consider washing facilities and clothing drying times. It's not so much of an issue if you're close to home but don't under pack if you're travelling interstate!

- Keep in mind that the wards are usually quite warm (babies only wear nappies for several days post-op) so pack appropriate clothing for that as well as the outside weather.

- Pack tissues. There were some tough days when I really needed them!

- Leave a bit of luggage space so you've got room for paperwork and meds when you go home.

- If you usually put baby in sleeping or swaddle bags make sure the bags have a 2 way zip so that when baby is able to wear them post-op the monitoring wires can be hooked up through the bottom of the zipper. (Put baby into the sleeping bag before attaching the wires).

- Pack a few pens... they always seem to go missing in hospitals.

- It's a good idea to take some snacks and a bottle of water. Don't forget to take any meds or supplements of your own and consider food options if you have any particular dietary requirements. Pack your favourite toiletry items but it's not the best time to try new strongly scented products - baby will likely find comfort in your familiar scent post-op.

- Pack a couple of baby's favourite toys and anything that may be of comfort post-op. I had a particular playlist that I put on my phone, music that I'd been playing a lot for B in the weeks before. I also took his massage oil as I've given him regular massages since birth and he finds it soothing (in the first couple of days post-op, massaging was often the only thing that comforted him when he was so hungry but on fluid restrictions). It's also handy to pack baby nail clippers so they don't end up scratching themselves.

- I printed and laminated family photos to take as well as drawings by the other kids. Post-op, a photo of his brothers propped up in his hospital cot would cheer B up and amuse him for a while.

- Consider what you'll do while baby is in surgery. It's a very long wait and the hours drag by. Catch up with friends, go see a movie, or do some shopping if you feel up to it. If you'd prefer to stay at or close to the hospital, make sure you've got a book or laptop/smartphone to keep you occupied.

- Love my smartphone. Not only could I keep in contact with friends and family but I could also use it to surf the net, record info, play games, take photos, listen to music and read ebooks.

- If you are breastfeeding don't forget to express while baby is in surgery, at least as often as baby normally feeds. Talk to the post-op ward or ICU about storing EBM. It will take at least a day or two, maybe more before baby is allowed to (or interested in) breastfeed post-op so keep expressing regularly, especially overnight. B continued to have some EBM via a syringe for a while. Be prepared for baby to have some difficulty with feeding for a while, particularly while the drains and pacing wires are still in place (they can be uncomfortable for baby). Ask to see a lactation consultant if you're concerned about breastfeeding progress.

- Even if baby doesn't normally take one, a dummy may provide some much needed comfort in the early days after surgery, especially for a breastfed baby who isn't allowed unrestricted breastfeeds yet.

- Learn how the sats monitors, BP cuff etc are hooked up to baby and what the different monitors are for. (The nurses don't mind giving a run down on what they're doing each time they do obs and, in my experience, most give explanations without being asked). It's handy know the basic things so, if necessary, you can hook baby up yourself after a feed/cuddle/weigh as it can get pretty busy on the ward especially when another child has had a medical emergency and almost all the nurses are attending that.

- Try not to panic if one of baby's monitors goes off. If baby looks okay and a cavalcade of doctors and nurses doesn't suddenly fill the room, then chances are it's nothing serious.

- Every nurse has a different attitude towards obs. Some are really strict and will wake baby up to do them, some are very relaxed and will let you buzz them once baby's woken and do the obs then.

- Try and keep track of when baby's meds, obs or various procedures are due (ask the new nurse at each shift change as they'll have just been updated). You'll then be able to buzz your nurse before baby falls asleep. (Soooo many times B finally fell asleep only to have a nurse come by 10 minutes later for meds or obs!).

- Don't feel bad if you can't remember everyone's names.

- It's easier to find a vein for taking blood when baby's had a recent feed.

- If doing pre- and post-feed weighs and recording feed times and durations, do it yourself and then write the info down (even on a paper towel) and then leave it on the desk or tray table so the nurse can record the info next time they come by. Same for nappies if they're weighing them - record nappy change time and leave the bagged nappy next to the info. This way you don't have to buzz the nurse every time. It's also good for overnight - you can record the info and go straight back to sleep without having to wait to fill the nurse in on every little detail.

- Do as much for your baby as you feel comfortable doing but know when you need to step back. I couldn't bear to hold or be next to B while they catheterised him for nasal and urine samples - I was crying as much as he was!

- Ask for help when you need it. As a mum of 4, I've changed my fair share of nappies but changing a dirty nappy on a post-op baby who has tubes and lines all over him is something else altogether. It took maybe 2-3 days before I could do it solo. Also, I'm a fairly experienced breastfeeder but settling down to feed a post-op baby tangled in all the monitoring wires, lines and drains is tricky!

- It's okay to leave baby and go and grab a cuppa. It's also okay if you don't. Personally, I couldn't bring myself to be apart from B as I was on my own there with him with no one else who would be familiar to him. The nurses often seemed busy with babies whose parents weren't able to stay with them and I hated to think of B crying for extended periods if I wasn't there.

- If you don't want to leave baby, find out when baby is well enough to go off the ward and go for a short walk together.

- Make the most of the hospital volunteers. They'll keep an eye on baby while you have a cuppa, finish your meal or have a power nap.

- Nap when baby does during the day. Close the door and curtains overnight to help cut out some of the noise and light.

- It's totally normal to feel completely overwhelmed at times; maybe perfectly fine and coping one minute and falling apart the next. In hospital a day can feel like a week and circumstances can change quickly. Ask to speak to the social worker if you need to. Find someone who's happy to listen to you debrief, even a friend or family member over the phone (or even just write/type it all out)

- Sucrose (sugar water) may help to keep baby calmer during painful procedures. Ask if it's not offered.

- Immediately prior to having a heel prick done, firmly massage a very warm, wet cloth against baby's heel. This helps to get the blood flowing and hopefully not so much squeezing will be required (squeezing the heel may affect the results and leave baby sore and upset). If it seems to be difficult getting enough blood from a heel prick, ask if the ward doctor can take it via the back of baby's hand instead... sometimes it's just quicker and easier.

- For a few weeks post-op, the hiccups would make B cry. Coughing would make him cry. Sneezing would make him cry. Crying would make him cry. It all hurt his sternum. He hated Panadol so even the pain relief would make him cry.

- Baby won't be able to be picked up and held under the armpits for a good 6 weeks or so. Consider how you'll go travelling with baby if you have to fly home. It's definitely easier if you've got someone else to assist you.

- Consider post-op accommodation. We were told that the average hospital stay after an uncomplicated VSD surgery is 7-10 days. Despite a couple of little post-op bumps in the road to recovery, B was discharged on day 5. We had to stick around until a post-op check on day 8 but weren't allowed to fly until day 10. With the help of the hospital we were lucky enough to get a room at Ronald McDonald House.

- Meds are likely for at least a few weeks post-op.

- Scarring. Pre-surgery, looking at photos of little heart babies with a great big scar down their chest was enough to reduce me to tears. Post-surgery it doesn't seem so bad. Yes there's a big scar - which they say will grow with him but will also fade a lot in time - but I don't see it as something 'bad', as something 'wrong'. I see it representing his heart being healed, fixed. Plus his brothers seem to think it's pretty cool, and I'm sure B will think the same when he's older. That's his main scar. He also has half a dozen small scar 'spots' just below it from where the drains and pacing wires were stitched in place. He has another small scar on his neck where the central line was placed; and another couple of barely visible scars on his hands/feet from the peripheral lines.

They're Multiplying

When did I have quads? At least I have help with the breastfeeding :)

And another breastfeed! :) He's still not able to have as much as he wants but he's much happier and more settled.

He had a feed! A proper breastfeed! It wasn't very long because of the fluid restriction and it took him a while to latch on and get sucking, but once he got going he had no problems. :)  :)  :)

Poor Baby Bear. The fluid restriction means that overnight he was only allowed to have 30ml of EBM every 3 hours. He woke up every 1-1.5 hours, starving and extremely cranky. I had to try and settle him until until we reached the 3 hour mark. By about 4am I worked out that massaging the small amount of free space on his legs calmed him enough so that he'd sleep for a little longer. He's always loved being massaged and I've done it after every bath since he was born. 

In the early hours of the morning it became apparent that Baby Bear had developed a fever. The doctors did the rounds late in the morning and upped his fluid intake to 45ml every 3 hours, as well as ordering a whole bunch of tests to check for an infection. 

It's been one of those mornings where I get Baby Bear to sleep just in time for someone to come in and start poking him. The ward doctor came in and put another line into his other foot so that they could take blood (so now both feet are bundled up, leaving even less room for his massage); a urine catheter put in to get a sample; a suction catheter used to get samples from up his nose; the mobile xray machine wheeled in to xray his chest. 

He's now due to have more EBM and meds but has fallen asleep, absolutely exhausted. My poor baby boy. And I can't make it better for him . :(

These Boobs Are Made For Feeding...

And that's just what they'll do.

It amazes me the number of people who pull the curtains to our hospital room closed when I'm breastfeeding. I never bother, it never even crossed my mind to until everyone else started doing it. I mean I'm sitting in a chair in the corner of our private room, not even 'out there' and I'm not topless or anything. And then if anyone needs to come into the room while I'm feeding they act all awkward and start apologising when they realise I'm breastfeeding.

Honestly, it's no big deal! They're boobs, they make milk, they feed babies. It's what they do. :)

Big Boy Beanie

My little Bean is growing up :) :(

For about 6-8 weeks now we've been down to one breastfeed a day, the pre-bedtime feed. It's a token feed, most days just half a minute each side. And we're both okay with that. A couple of months ago I encouraged him to to drop the very early morning feed. It was just one of those weird pregnancy things, I couldn't stand the feeling of him breastfeeding and that morning feed was more than I could take. We had some extra cuddle time and after a week or so he forgot to even ask for boobies. Who knows what will happen after Baby Bear is born, either way it's okay.

And tonight is Beanie's second night sharing a room with his brothers. They're all coping fine with the move. Beanie's been sleeping through the night consistently for about 6 months now and able to settle himself to sleep for about 4 months, only needing to sleep in our bed when sick or early in the morning when The OH and I were trying to have a sleep in. I think I'm finding it harder to adjust than he is (Beanie is absolutely thrilled to be in with his brothers and keeps telling me that he's a big boy now). Me, on the other hand, I'm so used to having a baby next to me, whether snuggled up next to me in bed or in a cot pushed up against our bed. And there's actually less bed-space with Beanie gone. With the cot right up against our bed, I had a doona and pillows packed into the space in between with a sheet firmly tucked over everything so there were no gaps. It added a good extra 20-odd cm to our queen sized bed and without the cot there I now find myself nearly rolling off the edge of the mattress in the middle of the night!

But now I have space in our bedroom to get the bassinette set up; to get the newborn clothes and nappies washed and put away; to put together my box of homebirth supplies. And I'm really excited. Crazy as it may be, I'm looking forward to experiencing labour again, looking forward to welcoming and embracing the contractions that will bring our little boy earthside. I am sad/happy/grateful because pregnancy #11 will be our last one. And I can't wait to be able to cuddle my little Baby Bear and to breathe in deep his sweet newborn baby smell. :x

Boobies

Scene: Extremely crowded OBGYN's office. Beanie sitting in my lap, facing me. He plants a hand firmly on each side of my chest and begins talking very clearly and very loudly. Oh no...

Beanie: Mummy, are these my boobies?
Me: Gonna tickle you... tickle tickle! *lame attempt at distraction*
Beanie: *frustrated at being brushed off* Mama! Are these my boobies?
Me: *very quietly* Um, erm, yes??
Beanie: Mama! ARE THESE MY BOOBIES?!
Me: *absolutely mortified and unsure if he just didn't hear me or was unsatisfied with my answer* Um, no?
Beanie: Mummy, but why aren't these my boobies? Mummy? Mama!! Aren't these my boobies?!

Cringe. No, Beanie, they're my boobies and we share them but I'm not entirely comfortable having a loud discussion about them in front of a dozen of strangers. But, flustered and under pressure, do you think I could think of a concise way to say it that would be satisfactory to my 2 year old?

Yet another one of those embarrassing moments that come with parenting a toddler. You'd think I'd be used to it by now.

Book - 'Mama's Milk' by Michael Elsohn Ross (Spanish Edition)

Breastfeeding has always been the norm in our household so it's great to find picture books that normalise breastfeeding as well. I was thrilled to recently come across the Spanish edition of Mama's Milk by Michael Elsohn Ross. I thought it looked like the kind of book that would fit in perfectly here. :)

The beautiful illustrations depict all kinds of mammals - from humans to elephants, whales and more - feeding their infants the way nature intended. Each page of this particular edition has both the English text plus the Spanish translation underneath. A brief nursing-related fact for each species is included at the end of the book (also in both English and Spanish).

I'm glad I decided to get Mama's Milk. Not only does it normalise breastfeeding but it's also a great way to spark the kids' interest in mammals and biology as well as foreign languages.

[If it seems like we've had a sudden influx of books arriving lately it's because me + FTB lump sum payment + Fishpond = crazy book buying ;) ]

So Proud of My Boys

- I am so impressed with how Shmoo's and Loo's reading and comprehension skills are coming along. They absolutely love books (and so does Beanie, for that matter). Shmoo and Loo usually wake about 1-1.5 hours before the rest of us and we often find find them drawing or reading (still in their PJs and night nappy no matter how many times I tell them to get changed first LOL). But I'm so glad that they all have a love of reading, especially as boys aren't supposed to as good at or as interested in reading as girls. Yesterday we went to the library and Shmoo chose about a dozen books on astronomy, the ocean and inventions. Loo chose a few books about robots and cleared the entire junior non-fiction section of dinosaur books (of course!). They are in heaven with all the new reading material (plus the 15-odd fiction books that I chose for them to read).


- Loo has been able to write his name for a while and now he is attempting to write other words. He is so proud of himself when he shows us the words that he's written.


- Beanie always amazes me with how advanced he seems in a lot of areas compared with the other two at the same age. He is clumsy as anything but geez he's clever! I've done baby signing (Auslan) with all the boys and they've all picked up on the signs relatively quickly and easily. But Beanie's just awesome at it, he's even started putting 2 signs together. Like this morning in bed I was doing up my PJ top and he started tugging at it, obviously wanting booby. I wanted to get up so I did the signs for 'finished' and 'breastfeed'. Beanie then shook his head, put on a really cute expression and did the sign for 'please' and 'breastfeed'. Adorable!