And now I find myself wondering if, as babies, the other kids used to breathe like that when feeding. I remember the suck-swallow-suck-swallow noises but not the pauses and laboured fast breathing that Baby Bear seems to do between swallows. But maybe I'm over analysing because pre-heart-murmur concerns I passed it off as being due to a newborn's naturally fast heart rate and faster breathing.
And I don't remember the others ever getting frothy around the mouth when they cried but Baby Bear did twice today. He's never cried that much before because he's 'in-arms' or we're close by but today in the car we couldn't always stop straight away. Now I'm worried that it's got something to do with the heart murmur.
I tell myself it's probably nothing, he doesn't go blue and lots of newborns have innocent heart murmurs. But the fact that my autoimmune issues gives him a higher risk of having a congenital heart defect is scary.
He is so tiny. The thought of there being something being wrong with his little heart is overwhelmingly scary.
Eight days until his echocardiogram.
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