Baby Bear's Homebirth - The Full Story

We went into this pregnancy knowing that it would be our last babe. We'd already been blessed with 3 amazing boys and I loved pregnancy, birthing and babies but having a small house, the trauma of recurrent miscarriages, and an increased risk of having babies with genetic problems, congenital heart defects and autism spectrum disorders meant knowing our limits.

Once again I was lucky to have an uneventful pregnancy aside from the standard morning sickness and the anxiety that accompanies being pregnant after 7 miscarriages. According to my dates I was due on 14 February 2013 (and after 10 years of tracking my cycles I was confident of that), while the OBGYN went with an EDD of 16 February. At around 16 weeks I had an amniocentesis done and the results showed that we had a healthy baby on board. We were also thrilled when the results confirmed that we would be having a 4th boy.

After having experienced a fairly standard intervention-heavy hospital birth, an unplanned as well as a planned homebirth (both unintentionally unassisted) and having speedy labours, there was never any doubt that we'd plan for anything but another homebirth. Our wonderful midwife, Jenny, provided the antenatal care again and we hoped that, for our last babe, there would be enough time for her to make it to birth this time around.

I didn't get around to doing as much birth prep as I had done in my previous pregnancies. I briefly revised the Pink Kit methods but didn't start the internal work until about 36 weeks and even then didn't do it regularly. However, through the little internal work that I did do, I felt that I was still very in tune with my body and aware of my muscles and how to soften and open up. My body felt very responsive. This was the first pregnancy in which I felt in tune enough with both my body and the baby that I could easily tell how the baby was lying.

In the last few weeks of pregnancy I drank raspberry leaf tea, took 5W capsules, used EPO, took Jenny's cohosh drops, and regularly massaged my perineum with jojoba oil (concentrating on the scar tissue of my previous tears – maybe it worked as I had no tearing at all this time). Towards the end I also started stimulating labour-encouraging acupressure points, using clary sage oil, and visualised my cervix opening and the baby descending.

From about 38 weeks I could feel my body changing and gearing up for birth. I was nauseous and crampy, restless and nesting, the baby dropped lower into my pelvis, his movements slowed down and a lot of the Braxton Hicks contractions that I experienced felt different – I could feel them affecting my cervix, I could feel the stretching, opening, pulling and pressure.

Having never made it to 40 weeks with any of my pregnancies, we were prepared for labour from 37 weeks onward. I thought that I'd probably go early and fast again but kept in mind that all pregnancies are different and that I could very well end up with a 6 hour labour at 42 weeks. From 38 weeks I was reluctant to go too far from home but as the days went by we really started to think that he might go post-dates after all.

We got to 39 weeks with lots of little signs that labour was imminent but I was thankful he wasn't born then as I wasn't keen on him having to share a birthday with Beanie (who had also been due on 14 February three years earlier but had been born on the 7th). The OH guessed that labour would start on the Tuesday at 39+5 while I guessed that bub would stick it out until 40 weeks (by my dates) and he wouldn't be born until the Thursday. I was still very much loving being pregnant and treasured the wriggles, kicks and hiccups, however I think we were all starting to feel the effects of being stuck at home for so long... but I just wasn't willing to risk ending up with a roadside or aisle-5-in-Woolies birth!

On the Wednesday morning, 39+6, Beanie announced that the baby would be coming that day and that he would be catching the baby with his toy ice cream scoop. I managed to get a great photo of him, scoop at the ready. I sent Jenny the photo and let her know that I'd been feeling crampy with low pressure all morning and that I'd let her know if it turned into anything (but that I really thought the baby was determined to get to 40 weeks!). She reminded me to let her know at the very first twinge.

I felt irritable and on-edge all day. I snapped at the kids, trying to get them to keep the floor relatively clear of toys in case I went into labour; I snapped at The OH when he kept talking and asking me questions during Braxton Hicks contractions. The BH contractions were all very intense and I had to pause and concentrate on breathing and swaying to get through them. They were very short and irregular though, and they lacked that extra something so although I suspected my body was working up towards labour, I knew that I wasn't quite there yet. It was a little bit confusing because my first labour had been induced and with the next 2 I'd woken up right in the middle of active labour so I'd never had to do all this guesswork before.

While I pottered around the house, The OH and the kids took apart a broken battery-operated car that The OH had found at an op shop. It kept the kids occupied for quite a while and Shmoo had fun attaching the wires to a battery and making a propeller out of a strip of paper and Blu Tack. For some weeks I'd also been meaning to give The OH and Loo a haircut so I got the clippers out and we got that done in the afternoon.

The OH assisted with the veggie chopping and grating and I made a big batch of mince and vegetable filled pastry triangles for dinner; then I got several loads of washing organised while the kids put their toys away and got ready for their bath. At 7:15 pm I sent Jenny a message letting her know how things were going and told her that I was starting to get a bit of bottom pressure as well but things were still irregular and I would get the kids bathed and in bed and then see if things progressed. Jenny had just finished work and called me back, suggesting having a bath after the kids were in bed to see if that made any difference one way or the other.

After the kids had their bath I realised how messy Shmoo and Beanie's long hair was so I brushed it and put it into plaits for them. It was uncomfortable and took a while because I kept having to stop and get up on my knees during a contraction, rocking and swaying with handfuls of half-plaited hair. We finally got the kids off to bed but I waited a bit for the hot water to heat up again before having a bath. Just after 9:30 pm Jenny sent me a message asking how I was and said to let her know how I was feeling after the bath and she'd decide what she would do then.

At about 9:45 pm, right before hopping in the bath, I went to the toilet and noticed a small amount of bloody mucus in my undies and on the toilet paper. A sign that things were progressing. It felt lovely being in a nice warm bath and suddenly I understood the appeal of a waterbirth. The weightless warmth felt good and the contractions were less intense (or maybe they just felt easier to handle). With just a standard sized bath though I couldn't be as upright as I wanted, and lying down or being on all fours in the water didn't feel right so I soon got out of the bath.

At 10:15 pm I sent Jenny an update. She called back a few minutes later and said she was on the road and asked what I wanted her to do. Living about an hour away and knowing how quickly I tend to progress she said that she could come straight over to our place or head over to her back-up midwife's place so that they would only be 20 minutes away when we needed them. By that stage I had a feeling we'd be having a baby sometime overnight but I didn't feel that the birth was imminent so I suggested she go to Naomi's and I'd call her as soon as I felt like anything had changed. I was starting to feel the contractions in my hips and down my legs and was experiencing quite a bit of bottom and pelvic pressure. I hadn't timed any contractions yet but they still felt irregular and some of them still felt 20-30 minutes apart (The OH later mentioned that he'd been surprised when I'd told Jenny that because, not being lost in the contractions like I was, he knew they weren't quite so irregular or far apart!).

The OH had been transferring some movies across from hard drive onto DVD so I lay on our futon (the 'family-sized-bed' as Shmoo had dubbed it when Beanie had been born), and watched those. I paused every now and then to roll off so that I could stand or kneel during a contraction, focussing on breathing and the pictures and words on my birth wall. I started timing the contractions using an app on my mobile just after 10:30 pm and was very surprised to see that they were coming every 6.5 minutes or so and lasting for 40-50 seconds. After lying down for a while they eased off to 8.5-9.5 minutes apart and they were quite manageable. The OH and I slowly started getting bits and pieces out of our Birth Box and started getting set up for the birth but, again, I didn't feel like birth was imminent so we weren't in any hurry.

Around 11:35 pm I noticed that the contractions were starting to feel a bit more intense and that, despite mostly lying down, they had started getting closer together again... 6.5 minutes, 4.5 minutes. I knew I was definitely in established labour now and was slightly surprised at how quickly it felt like things were progressing. Just before a contraction hit I called out to The OH and asked him to get the dropsheets out of the Birth Box. To my irritation, I heard him drop them on the table next to me before heading back out to the kitchen to make himself a coffee. I'd wanted him to spread them out on the floor! I really should know by now that I need to be more specific when communicating with an Aspie!

I decided that we'd better call Jenny ASAP so that she could make her way over but, at 11:47 pm, as I knelt on the floor beside the futon, another contraction hit and I was startled mid-way through when I felt a warm gush and fluid soaked through my undies and down my pyjama pants. I called out to The OH for help, asking him to get me a towel (and then I asked him to put the dropsheets on the floor). I cautiously sniffed my pyjama pants and undies and I was delighted to immediately recognise the distinctive smell of amniotic fluid. In previous labours I'd never had the membranes rupture naturally prior to the birth of the baby's head. A couple of contractions later I examined the towel I held between my legs and was pleased to see that apart from a tiny amount of blood, the amniotic fluid was clear. After The OH had put the dropsheets down it was probably about 11:55 pm and I asked him to call Jenny for me.

The contractions were rapidly getting more intense and closer together... 3.5 minutes, 2.5 minutes, just over 1 minute apart (and then I gave up on timing them). I'd been focussing intently on my breathing and opening up for the baby, vaguely aware of the tribal drumming music in the background. Sometime around 12:00 am I knew that I'd reached transition because I had an intense need for The OH to hold and support me during contractions – exactly the same as with my other labours.

Somehow I was able to completely let go and surrender myself to the contractions while a distant part of my brain encouraged me to keep going and kept tabs on my breathing and positioning. I was very aware of how I was breathing and kept my 'aaahh' sounds open and relaxed during contractions but it was very much an instinctual thing and I didn't have to consciously think about it. During contractions I also instinctively started hanging off The OH and lowering myself into a position that allowed my pelvis to open up more. I was distantly aware of feeling the baby moving down.

Around 12:15 am I started recognising the pushy noises I was making, that slight catch in my throat as I had a contraction and the strong pressure I was starting to feel. As my body took over, I dropped down to a hands-and-knees position, leaning over the front of the futon, hearing myself let out a full-on pushy grunt. I gave The OH a series of short instructions – unlock door, take photos, wipes (so he could check and wipe for me between contractions) etc. I kept looking up at the tower of pillows that I'd piled on the table next to me to support me during contractions and wished that I had some on the futon to help keep me more upright but the contractions were coming so fast that I couldn't move between them and I struggled to get my thoughts straight enough verbalise any needs.

I could feel the baby moving down quickly and with one contraction I could feel that incredible stretch start and I thought his head would be born but it moved back up again slightly. I was starting to think that Jenny would miss this birth too because I knew that things would happen very quickly from that point. It was then that I also realised that The OH would need to go and wake the kids up straight away if they were to have any hope of seeing a baby being born. I could hear him talking to them and waking them up and I wanted to tell him to just pick them up and haul them into the lounge room but that was too many words for me so I just said something like 'hurry up'. In the end only Shmoo woke up enough and he came out and sat on the lounge and, with wide-eyed wonder, got to witness the birth of his baby brother. Loo fell back asleep and Beanie never woke at all so they missed it entirely.

The OH came back out and positioned himself, ready to catch. I was careful to push gently and slowly, still being mindful of my breathing and, just as the baby's head was being born, Jenny and Naomi came rushing through the curtains that separate our lounge room from the kitchen. I was suddenly aware of Jenny's gentle, soothing hands on my back and her soft, encouraging words. I heard Naomi taking photos for us in the background.

It was that time between the head and body being born, that time that seems to go on forever. My senses were heightened and I was aware of my breathing, blowing out gentle breaths; feeling the uncomfortable stretching fullness of the baby's body down below, briefly wishing it was over already but then embracing it, surrendering to it, knowing that all too soon he would be born. Time stretched on and I listened to Jenny's words, felt the wave of that last contraction start and then the overwhelming sensation of release and relief as his body was born.

He was born at 12:27 am on Valentine's Day, 40 weeks exactly by my dates, and he cried straight away. I smiled and laughed and was filled with joy as I realised that our 4th little boy was finally here with us. Baby Bear. The OH handed Baby Bear to Jenny who passed him up between my legs to me. He was slippery, wet, covered with vernix and smelled wonderfully of amniotic fluid. I cuddled him next to me and he soon stopped crying (and did a wee all over me instead!).

Shmoo woke Loo up and they both had a good look at their new baby brother. The OH woke up Beanie and he stayed awake just long enough to peer sleepily at Baby Bear, dozing off while having his photo taken with us before going back to bed.

The umbilical cord continued to pulse for a very long time and Shmoo and Loo were fascinated both with it and the vernix that was all over Baby Bear. Just under an hour after Baby Bear arrived, the placenta came away. Interestingly, the contractions that accompanied it weren't painful this time, I only had a feeling of uncomfortable heaviness. The boys watched as Jenny examined the placenta, showing them the membranes and the maternal and foetal sides and the cord. The membranes were a bit ragged but, with a little gentle assistance from Jenny, the rest came away easily an hour or so later.

After a good feed and lots of cuddles with his 2 eldest brothers (who then went back to bed), Baby Bear was weighed and measured. He was a bit smaller than any of us had expected, the smallest of all of my babes, weighing in at 6lb 6.5oz (2910g). His head circumference was 34 cm and length was 49 cm.

With everyone settled and doing well, Jenny and Naomi packed up and headed home at around 3 am. Baby Bear snoozed, recovering from his eventful night, while The OH and I let our friends and family know that our 4th little miracle had arrived.